从2006年中国政府白皮书英文版看对外翻译问题

黄卫峰

温州大学外国语学院教授、博士

内容提要本文以中国政府门户网站上刊登的2006年《中国老年事业的发展》白皮书中英文版为对象，通过对比研究发现，该文件英文版在理解和表达方面还有许多需要加以改进的地方。翻译问题存在于词、句、篇章等各个层次上，其中理解不准确和表达累赘问题最为突出。为了确保翻译质量，建议政府部门应设立有中外专家参加的政府文件翻译顾问组。另外，由于政府文件内容往往涉及许多专业领域，需要翻译者与各专业人士通力合作，才能使专业术语的翻译准确、规范。

引言

随着中国改革开放事业顺利推进和经济持续迅速地发展，其在世界政治和经济格局中的地位日益重要。尤其是加入世界贸易组织以来，中国与世界的联系更加密切，各国更加重视中国的发展经验和对各种国际问题的表态，而中国政府也希望向世界介绍中国的发展情况，让世界了解中国政府的各种方针政策。在这种形势下，越来越多的政府文件需要翻译成英文。其中，每年发表的政府白皮书理所当然地成为外国人了解中国形势和政府政策最重要、最权威的来源，其译文的重要性也就不言而喻了。

在这种形势下，近年来，对外宣传翻译也就成为翻译研究中的热门话题。翻译研究的权威刊物《中国翻译》开辟了相关专栏供学者们交流经验和意见。翻译家和学者们从实践和理论的角度对外宣翻译的重要性、外宣翻译的特点和原则、外宣翻译中存在的问题进行了比较系统的探讨和分析，并提出了不少建议。对外宣工作中翻译的重要性，学者们有着深刻的认识，指出外宣翻译不仅“是决定外宣效果的最直接因素”，（爱泼斯坦、林戊荪、沈苏儒，2000：2），而且“是一个国家对外交流水平和人文环境建设的具体体现。”（黄友义，2005：31）因此，作为一种“门面工作”，外宣翻译必须严肃认真，尽量避免各种错误与缺陷，因为这种错误“会被放大来看”。（黄友义，2005：31）外宣翻译与其他翻译既有相同之处，需要遵循基本的翻译标准，也存在很大差别，具有自己的独特性，其中主要表现为政治性强、要求高度的精确、以译文为重点等。因此，外宣翻译具有自己的原则，需要坚持“三贴近”（贴近中国发展的实际，贴近国外受众对中国信息的需求，贴近国外受众的思维习惯）（黄友义，2004：27）。在翻译策略上，由于外宣翻译的目的是“让译文受者明确无误地理解和把握译文所传递的信息要旨” （袁晓宁，2005：75），因此要做到“内外有别”（爱泼斯坦、林戊荪、沈苏儒，2000：2），在风格、措辞、文化背景等方面需要充分考虑中外差异和外国读者的需求，以自然段为单位，忠实再现原文意义。（袁晓宁，2005），针对外宣中出现的种种问题，学者们进行了分析，并提出了许多中肯可行的建议，如“建立对外外文工作的检查、咨询、服务机构。要延揽国外以外语为母语的专家……要设立专门的服务机构，所有对外外文材料（小至一句话的口号、大至一本小册子）都由这样的机构审阅、修改、润饰。”（爱泼斯坦、林戊荪、沈苏儒，2000：4）

然而，令人遗憾的是，迄今为止，对外宣传翻译的质量仍不能令人乐观。不仅地方外宣工作翻译问题严重，而且连许多中央政府文件的翻译也存在诸多问题。本文以中国政府门户网站上刊登的2006年《中国老年事业的发展》白皮书中英版为对象，通过对比研究发现，该文件英文版在理解和表达方面还有许多需要加以改进的地方。翻译问题存在于词、句、篇章等各个层次上，其中理解不准确、汉化句式和表达累赘问题最为突出。

为了便于系统分析，突出问题所在，本文对英文版中存在的问题作了大致分类。但需要指出的是，各种分类之间存在重合之处，如句子理解与汉化句式之间就存在密切关系。另外，译文中时态的使用比较混乱，尤其是许多地方竟然使用现在进行时，笔者认为不妥。但限于篇幅，本文对这一问题没有单独讨论。

第一部分理解问题

翻译过程说起来简单，不外乎“理解和表达”两个阶段。尤其是汉译英，许多人想当然地认为，中国人阅读中文并理解它不成问题。但翻译工作中涉及的理解与一般阅读中所说的理解不是一回事。翻译中所说的理解是全方位、深层次的理解。全方位的理解指不仅要理解每一个词、句子的意思，还要分析句子之间的逻辑关系和段落、篇章的结构。所谓深层次的理解指不仅要看懂字面意思，更要理解深层含义。然而，在实际翻译工作中，许多人往往是仅有皮毛理解就开始动手翻译，结果导致误解。《中国老年事业的发展》白皮书也同样存在不少理解方面的问题。

1、各级政府部门加强信访工作，畅通群众监督的渠道。老年人通过信访主张自己的权利，反映意见和建议。2005年，全国老龄工作机构共受理老年人来信来访近40万件（次）。Government departments at all levels are improving the work of handling petitions and visits, in order to make sure that the channel for the people's supervision is unimpeded. By letters and visits, senior citizens protect their rights and air their opinions and advice. In 2005, agencies on ageing around China handled altogether nearly 400,000 letters and visits from senior citizens.

问题：“信访”是一种独特的中国民主制度，指“公民、法人或者其他组织采用书信、电子邮件、传真、电话、走访等形式，向各级人民政府、县级以上人民政府工作部门反映情况，提出建议、意见或者投诉请求，依法由有关行政机关处理的活动。”信访工作就是“处理来信、接待来访”。目前，关于该术语的译文存在很大差别。在本句中，就有petitions and visits和letters and visits两种译文。在国家信访局的网站上，“信访”也有不同的译文。“国家信访局”几个汉字下的英语译文是State Bureau for Letters and Calls，但在该网站提供的“国务院信访条例”的英文版中，“信访”的译文一律是letters and visits。更有意思的是，“信访条例”本身却又存在不同的译文，标题被翻译为Regulations on Letters and Visits，但在条例的最后一条中，又被译为Regulations on Letters and Calls。这一现象充分说明了这一术语翻译的混乱性。笔者又从网上查到以下几种译文：letters and visits；complaint letters and people’s visits；complaint letters and visits from civilians; Xinfang (letters and visits)；petition letters and visits； petitions submitted through letters and visits；petitions delivered via letters and visits；letters and visits (xinfang) system；grassroots letters and visits; letters and calls (i.e. letters of complaints from the people and the calls they make to lodge complainst)。从翻译技巧上来说，以上译文大体可以分为三类：一类是直译，如letters and visits；二是音译加注，如Xinfang (letters and visits)；三是增添词语，其中绝大多数都采用了这一译法。但在具体做法上又有所不同：有的添加表示信访目的的定语complaint或petition；有的则增加了表示信访主体的修饰语from civilians，from people或grassroots 或。上述译文中，letters and calls 比letters and visits要好，因为call是个多义词，涵盖的信息更丰富，既可以指“拜访”（visits），也可以指“打电话”（telephone calls）。

如果按照信访条例上提供的定义来衡量上述译文，那么可以看出，上述所有译文都与原文有很大出入。首先，从方式上看，信访应包括“书信、电子邮件、传真、电话、走访等形式”，并不限于“写信和走访”（letters and visits）；其次，从目的上来说，至少有三个方面：“反映情况，提出建议、意见或者投诉请求”，并不限于投诉请求（complaint或petition）；最后，从信访主体来说，不仅可以是“公民”，而且可以是“法人”或“组织”，因此并不限于from civilians 或grassroots。由此可见，作为我国独特制度的“信访”要在英语中找到对等译文，即使不是不可能，也是很困难的。另一方面，从英语角度来说，letters and visits的译文很容易导致误解。众所周知，监狱犯人与家属联系经常采用的方式就是写信和探访，其英文表达也是letters and visits。事实上，笔者曾在google上输入关键词letters and visits后，所查到的许多用法都与该意思有关。

2、对执行计划生育政策的农村独生子女或两女户夫妇，在年满60周岁以后，由中央或地方财政安排专项资金，实施计划生育家庭奖励扶助制度。

For rural couples who have followed the state family planning policy and given birth to only one child (or two daughters), when they turn 60 they receive a bonus from a special fund made available by the central and local governments.

问题：这句话中，“计划生育政策”和“独生子女或两女”之间不是并列关系，而是补充说明关系。而译文容易给人一种误解，以为计划生育和独生子女是两种不同的政策。可以改为：The central and local governments have allocated a special fund as a reward for rural couples over the age of 60 who have followed the state family planning policy to give birth to only one child (or two daughters)

3、积极发挥社会力量在老年贫困救助中的作用，推动各地老年基金会等社会团体、企事业单位和个人开展慈善救助和社会互助，创造结对帮扶、认养助养、志愿服务、走访慰问等多种救助形式，普遍为贫困老年人提供多样化扶助。

China should give full play to the role of all social sectors in helping poor elderly people, encouraging NGOs like the old-age foundations to be found all over the country, as well as enterprises, public institutions and individuals to provide charitable and other assistance.

Various other forms of assistance are officially encouraged, such as pairing up between a well-off family and a poor elderly person so that the former may give more help to the latter, making commitments to support poor elderly people, doing volunteer work for them or paying visits to convey greetings to them. Therefore, various types of assistance are provided to the poor elderly people.

问题：纵观全文，这份政府白皮书阐述的是政府过去一年来实际做的工作，而不是应该做什么。句子使用should显然与全文语气不符。第二，“推动各地老年基金会等社会团体、企事业单位和个人开展慈善救助和社会互助”与“创造结对帮扶、认养助养、志愿服务、走访慰问等多种救助形式”在意义上不是同一层次。因此，译文中的Various other forms of assistance are officially encouraged中的other一词使用不当。第三，encouraging NGOs like the old-age foundations to be found all over the country让人莫名其妙，found显然应该改为founded才符合逻辑。

4、国家还鼓励开展个人储蓄性养老保险，多渠道加强老年人的生活保障。

The state also encourages the development of old-age insurance attached to personal savings deposits; and guarantees the livelihood of elderly people through multiple channels.

问题：原文第二句应该是对第一句所作的补充说明，两句之间存在目的关系。而且，即便译文的理解是正确的，但表达也有问题，分号显然应该改为逗号。因此，译文应改为The state also encourages the development of old-age insurance based on personal savings deposit so as to guarantee the livelihood of elderly people through multiple channels.

5、最高人民法院制定有关司法救助的规定，对贫困老年人的诉讼费用实行缓交、减交和免交。2005年，3万多老年人获得司法救助。

The Supreme People's Court of China has formulated regulations on judicial assistance, and on postponing, reducing or exempting court costs for poor senior citizens. In 2005, more than 30,000 seniors received judicial assistance.

问题：分析原文可以看出，“对贫困老年人的诉讼费用实行缓交、减交和免交”是对“司法救助”的具体说明，而不是如译文所表明的那样两者之间是并列关系。另外，judicial assistance两次重复，也不符合英语表达习惯。建议改为：The Supreme People's Court of China has formulated regulations on judicial assistance by postponing, reducing or exempting court costs for poor senior citizens. In 2005, more than 30,000 seniors benefited from this policy.

6、全国老龄工作委员会主任由国务院副总理担任，成员单位由国家26个部门组成，委员由各成员单位一位副部长级领导担任。

A vice-premier of the State Council serves as the director of the China National Committee on Ageing, which comprises 26 state-level departments, with one senior leader equivalent to a vice-minister from each department as its representative.

问题：原文的语意重心在于通过其成员组成情况说明全国老龄工作委员会的重要性和广泛性。而译文却没有在认真分析原文的基础上进行重新组织，导致语意重心没有很好地传达出来。建议改为The China National Committee on Ageing is composed of a vice-premier of the State Council as its director and 26 vice-ministers from relevant departments as its members.

第二部分表达问题

一、语法错误

1、特别是近年来，中国政府全面贯彻落实科学发展观，积极应对人口老龄化挑战。

Especially in recent years, the Chinese government has implemented the outlook of scientific development in an all-round way and positively meet the challenge posed by the ageing of the population.

问题：撇开其他问题，仅从语法角度而言，这句话就存在主谓数不一致的情况。主语the Chinese government是第三人称单数，而且译文中其后第一个谓语动词也使用了单数形式，为何后一个并列动词形式的使用不一致呢？

2、新闻媒体围绕老年人权益保障问题开展多种形式的舆论监督。

The news media too has carried out different forms of supervision by public opinion centering on the issue of protecting the rights and interests of senior citizens.

问题：从语法上来说，这句话存在主谓数不一致问题。Media是medium的复数形式，其作主语时谓语动词应用复数形式。如：The media are to blame for starting the rumours.（《牛津高阶英汉双解词典》）而且《牛津词典》对该词的用法专门作了说明，指出：“media（单数为medium）一字有时误用作单数名词。”（Medium is sometimes incorrectly used as a singular noun）并举例予以说明：The medium are (NOT is) often accused of being biased.由此可见，media用作主语时，谓语动词不能使用单数形式。

3、大中城市道路、车站、机场、商场、公交站点、住宅居住区和其他公共建筑的无障碍设施建设发展较快，老年人安居和参与社会生活的设施环境不断改善。

Construction of barrier-free facilities on roads, in stations, airports, shops, at bus stops, in residential areas and other public buildings in large and medium cities have been developing rapidly, creating convenience for senior citizens in their daily lives and enabling them to engage more fully in social activities.

问题：这句话的主语construction是第三人称单数，谓语部分have been developing的助动词have却是复数形式，显然存在主谓数不一致的情况。

4、中国老教授协会和老科技工作者协会的个体会员数量超过65万人。

The membership of China Senior Professors Association and Association of Senior Scientists and Technicians together exceed 650,000.

问题：这句话的主语membership是第三人称单数，谓语动词却用一般现在时第三人称复数形式，也属于主谓数不一致问题。

5、目前已初步形成多层次、多形式、多学制、多学科的老年教育体系。

Today, an educational system for elderly people that is multi-level, multi-form and multi-disciplinary with different lengths of schooling has taken initial shape.

问题：按照英语表达习惯，定语从句that is multi-level, multi-form and multi-disciplinary中的表语部分应该使用形容词形式。但实际上，只有disciplinary一词是形容词，其他两个词level 和form为名词，这样一来还存在结构不平行的问题。而且，with different lengths of schooling的位置容易导致误解，以为其是用来修饰名词multi-disciplinary的。另外，lengths的恰当性值得怀疑。建议改为：So far, an educational system with different levels, forms, disciplines and duration of schooling has taken initial shape.

6、依托省、市、县各级现有群众文化设施多渠道、多层次发展老年教育，努力实现“县县有老年大学”的目标，并逐步向社区、乡镇延伸。

On the basis of existing provincial, municipal and county-level mass cultural facilities, education for seniors has been developing through different channels and at various levels, aiming to achieve the goal of making higher education available for elderly people in every county, and extending to townships and communities.

问题：从结构和意思上看，and extending to townships and communities应该与making higher education available for elderly people in every county是并列关系。Extend一词虽然既可用作及物动词，也可用作不及物动词，但在这里显然是用作及物动词，所以应该在其后面加it才符合语法。而且and extending前的逗号完全是画蛇添足，造成理解困难。

7、积极发展多种形式的保障制度，把农村特殊老年群体优先纳入社会保障范围。对无劳动能力、无生活来源、无法定赡养人、扶养人，或者其法定赡养人、扶养人确无赡养、扶养能力的农村老年人，由国家实施在吃、穿、住、医、葬方面给予生活照顾和物质帮助的“五保”供养制度。

China actively develops social security systems of various forms, and priority is given to a special group of elderly people to be covered in the social security system in rural areas. These are elderly people who have lost the ability to work, who have no source of income, and who have no legal guardians whatsoever to support them, or their legal guardians do not have the ability to support them. They enjoy the state's "five guarantees" system, which means that their food, clothing, housing, medical care and burial expenses are taken care of and subsidized by the government.

问题：从语法角度来说，These are elderly people who have lost the ability to work, who have no source of income, and who have no legal guardians whatsoever to support them, or their legal guardians do not have the ability to support them一句中，or their legal guardians do not have the ability to support them与前面的并列成分不是平行结构。

8、“老有所养、老有所医、老有所教、老有所学、老有所为、老有所乐”是中国老龄事业的发展目标。

China's goals for the development of undertakings for the aged can be described as follows: All elderly people are to be provided for and enjoy proper medical care. They are to be given opportunities to pass on their experience as well as to learn new things. They should be given the opportunity to do what they can for the society, while enjoying their later years.

问题：根据原文，引号内的内容都是中国老龄事业的发展目标。但由于译文标点符号使用不当，让人误解为只有一个目标，即All elderly people are to be provided for and enjoy proper medical care. 因此，建议译文作如下改进：China's goals for the development of undertakings for the aged can be described as follows: All elderly people are to be provided for and enjoy proper medical care; they are to be given opportunities to pass on their experience as well as to learn new things; they should be given the opportunity to do what they can for the society, while enjoying their later years.

9、发挥土地养老的保障作用，保护包括广大老年人在内的农民土地承包经营权。

Giving full play to the role of the land in ensuring elderly people's livelihood and protecting farmers', including the elderly people's, right to operate land contracted to them.

问题：这句话不是用作标题，不知译者为何突然使用现在分词短语这种片断句？

10、300多万参保农民领取养老金，当年支付养老保险金21.3亿元人民币。

And more than three million farmers now receive pensions. The total disbursement of old-age insurance payments in 2005 was 2.13 billion yuan.

问题：根据原文上下文，后一句话应该是对前一句的补充说明，因此这两句话应该使用同一时态才符合英语的时态一致原则。但不知为何译文一句使用一般过去时，另一句却使用一般过去时？

11、2005年底，城市社区和农村老年人协会发展到31.7万个，在组织广大老年人参与基层社区建设、社会公益活动和维护老年人自身权益等方面发挥了积极作用。

By the end of 2005, China had 317,000 such associations in both urban and rural areas, playing an active role in organizing large numbers of elderly people to take part in grassroots community construction and public welfare activities, and safeguarding the rights and interests of elderly people.

问题：按照英语语法，译文中的分词短语playing 和safeguarding的逻辑主语是China。但根据原文，其实施者应该是“协会”。而且“维护老年人权益”和“发挥作用”并不是并列关系。因此，应将译文改为By the end of 2005, 317,000 such associations were established in urban and rural communities. They played an active role in involving large numbers of elderly people in grassroots community construction, public welfare activities and the protection of the rights and interests of elderly people.

除了上述基本语法错误之外，冠词的使用不规范也是比较普遍的问题。如：

中国作为世界上最大的发展中国家，如何在老年人口基数增大、人口老龄化加快而且发展不平衡的条件下，保障老年人的合法权益，促进老龄事业的发展，是社会发展中面临的重大问题。

12、China is the biggest developing country in the world. As the number of elderly people keeps increasing and ageing of population accelerates, and due to the country's uneven development, one big challenge facing China in its social development is how to guarantee the legitimate rights and interests of the elderly people and promote the development of undertakings for the aged.

问题：显然动名词短语ageing of population前需要加一个定冠词the才符合英语表达习惯。

二、表达累赘

我们知道，“汉语中的重复现象是正常的，甚至是必要的。”但“由于语用传统和语言结构上的原因，英语倾向于用代词来代替前面提到的部分。”鉴于这一差别，“汉译英时要尽量用代词等来替代前面已提到的部分，以使英语译文符合其表达习惯和风格。”（袁晓宁，2005：76-77）这种替代不仅避免重复，而且还是英语篇章衔接的重要手段，具有使上下文有机地联成一体的重要功能。因此，替代是一种基本的翻译技巧。

然而，该白皮书英文版的翻译在这方面做得非常不够，导致译文表达累赘问题非常突出，措辞重复现象随处可见。这种翻译表面上看起来忠实于原文，但其实际效果只能让外国读者读而生厌。由于篇幅有限，本文只列举其中有代表性的两个例子。

1、中国政府历来关心和重视老龄事业。多年来，国家大力弘扬中华民族敬老养老的文化传统，采取切实有效措施，积极探索适合中国国情的老龄事业发展模式。特别是近年来，中国政府全面贯彻落实科学发展观，积极应对人口老龄化挑战，把发展老龄事业作为经济社会统筹发展和构建社会主义和谐社会的重要内容，综合运用经济、法律和行政手段，不断推动老龄事业发展。

The Chinese government has always cared for and paid attention to undertakings for the aged. For years, the state has made great efforts to promote the cultural tradition of the Chinese nation that elderly people are respected and provided for; and taken effective measures to explore a development mode of undertakings for the aged that suits China's conditions. Especially in recent years, the Chinese government has implemented the outlook of scientific development in an all-round way and positively meet the challenge posed by the ageing of the population. It has considered undertakings for the aged an important part of balanced social and economic development as well as of the building of a harmonious society, and has adopted economic, legal and administrative measures to constantly promote the development of undertakings for the aged.

问题：这段话中， “老龄事业” 在原文中出现了四次，而其译文undertakings for the aged也完全重复出现了四次，不符合英语表达习惯。

2、从2003年起，国家开始进行个人缴费、集体扶持和政府资助相结合的新型农村合作医疗制度试点工作。到2006年6月底，全国新型农村合作医疗试点县（市、区、旗）扩大到1399个，覆盖农业人口4.95亿，3.96亿农民参加新型农村合作医疗，试点地区老年人参加新型农村合作医疗的比例超过73%；全国共补偿参加新型合作医疗的农民2.82亿人次，补偿资金支出144.12亿元人民币。国家要求各地为70岁以上农村老年人参加新型合作医疗给予适当政策优惠，照顾老年人的特殊需求。积极建立农村医疗救助制度，采取政府拨款和社会捐助相结合筹集救助资金，资助农村“五保”老年人和困难群众参加新型农村合作医疗，对因患大病个人医疗费负担过高、影响家庭基本生活的贫困农民给予适当补助，在一定程度上缓解了老年人基本医疗困难。目前31个省（自治区、直辖市）全部建立了农村医疗救助制度，2005年农村实施医疗救助达1112万人次，救助资金总支出10.8亿元人民币。

Experimental work began in 2003 to set up a new type of rural cooperative medical system by pooling funds from individual payments, collective support and government subsidies. By the end of June 2006, such experimental work had been extended to 1,399 counties (cities, districts, banners), covering 495 million rural dwellers. Up to 396 million farmers, and over 73 percent of the elderly people in the experimental areas, had participated in this new type of rural cooperative medical system. A total of 14.412 billion yuan had been paid in 282 million cases as subsidies to farmers covered by the new type of rural cooperative medical system.

The central government requires local governments to give appropriate preferential treatment to people over the age of 70 participating in the new type of rural cooperative medical system to meet their special needs. A rural medical aid system has been established, with funds from government appropriations and public donations to help the elderly covered by the "five guarantees" system and poor farmers to join the new type of rural cooperative medical system. The medical aid system provides certain subsidies to poor farmers whose high medical costs for serious diseases have affected their basic family life, and has to a certain degree alleviated the basic medical burdens on the aged. So far the rural medical aid system has been set up in all of the 31 provinces, autonomous regions and municipalities directly under the central government. In 2005, a total of 1.08 billion yuan of medical aid subsidy was given to farmers in 11.12 million cases.

问题：这段话中的关键词“新型农村合作医疗制度”在原文中出现六次，其相应的译文new type of rural cooperative medical system也原封不动地重复五次。读起来非常别扭。

3、2005年，包括贫困老年人在内的2233万城市贫困人口领取了最低生活保障金，基本实现应保尽保。

In 2005, some 22.33 million impoverished urban residents (including impoverished elderly people) received such allowances, including almost all the people eligible for receiving the minimum living allowance.

问题：这句话的译文与原文一样，两次重复“贫困”和“保障金”，使译文读起来不符合英语表达习惯，而且在意思在与原文有出入。译文应改为In 2005, some 22.33 million impoverished urban residents, including the aged, received the minimum living allowance. Thus, the goal of covering all the people eligible to such aid is basically realized.

4、地方政府积极组织实施开发式扶贫，扶持低龄、健康、有劳动能力的贫困老年人从事种植、养殖和加工等项目，增强贫困老年人的生产自助能力。

Meanwhile, local governments are actively organizing "helping the poor through production" schemes. They are doing their best to help poor people in their 60s who are generally healthy and strong enough to work to engage in farming, aquaculture and processing business, so that they can support themselves.

问题：在分析本句存在的问题之前，值得指出的是，译者充分运用了英语中的代词来避免重复“老年人”，在这点上做得很好。但to work显然多余，而且第一句和第二句之间不能很好地衔接起来。另外，时态的使用也值得商榷。建议改为：Meanwhile, local governments have actively organized "helping the poor through production" schemes. They are doing their best to help poor people in their 60s who are generally healthy and strong enough to work to engage in farming, aquaculture and processing business, so that they can support themselves.

5、《中华人民共和国老年人权益保障法》规定，赡养人有义务耕种老年人承包的田地，照管老年人的林木和牲畜等，收益归老年人所有，以保障老年人的基本生活来源。

The Law of the People's Republic of China on the Protection of the Rights and Interests of Elderly People stipulates that an elderly person's guardian is obligated to till the land contracted to the elderly person he/she supports, and also to tend forestry and livestock under the elderly person's charge. The revenue from these will go to the elderly person as a guaranteed source for his/her basic livelihood.

问题：an elderly person's guardian is obligated to till the land contracted to the elderly person he/she supports一句中的he/she supports与前面的guardian属于意思重复，显然多余。后半句中的also也多余。最后一句也存在表达累赘问题，而且his/her的使用容易与前面的he/she相混淆，以为指同一人（实际上完全不同），从而给读者带来阅读困难，而且语气助词will的使用不符合法律英语规范。建议全句改为：According to the Law of the People's Republic of China on the Protection of the Rights and Interests of Elderly People, a guardian is obligated to till the contracted land and tend forestry and livestock for the elderly person. The revenues thereof shall be used to guarantee the basic livelihood of the elderly person.

6、国务院有关部门和地方各级人民政府，分别制定本部门老龄工作行动计划和本地方老龄事业发展规划。

Relevant departments under the State Council and local people's governments at all levels have formulated action plans for work concerning elderly people in their departments and plans for the development of undertakings for the aged in their localities.

问题译者没有对原文进行整合，而是逐字翻译，结果导致表达重复。可以简化为：The relevant departments under the State Council and local governments at various levels have formulated their respective plans concerning elderly people.

7、近二十年来，全国人大及其常委会、国务院及其有关部门颁布的老龄法律、法规、规章及有关政策达200余件，初步形成以《中华人民共和国宪法》为基础，《中华人民共和国老年人权益保障法》为主体，包括有关法律、行政法规、地方性法规、国务院部门规章、地方政府规章和有关政策在内的老龄法律法规政策体系框架。

Over the past 20 years or so, the National People's Congress and its Standing Committee, the State Council, and departments concerned have promulgated some 200 laws, regulations and policies concerning elderly people. A framework of laws, regulations and policies in this regard has been established with the Constitution of the People's Republic of China as its foundation, and the Law of the People's Republic of China on the Protection of the Rights and Interests of Elderly People as its backbone, together with other relevant laws, administrative regulations, local regulations, rules, regulations and related policies formulated by departments of the State Council and local governments.

问题：该段译文的累赘现象也是显而易见的。试比较：Over the past 20 years or so, the National People's Congress and its Standing Committee, and the State Council and its relevant departments have promulgated more than 200 laws, regulations, rules and policies concerning elderly people, thus evolving an initial legal framework with the Constitution of the People's Republic of China as its foundation and the Law of the People's Republic of China on the Protection of the Rights and Interests of Elderly People as its backbone.

三、汉化句式

汉语与英语在句子结构上存在很大区别。汉语的特点之一就是“动词用得较多，除大量的动宾结构外，还有连动式或兼语式等两个以上动词连用的现象。而英语则不然，一句话往往只用一个谓语动词。”（吕瑞昌等，1994：26）与汉语相比，英语的名词和介词用得较多。因此，汉译英时，需要对原文进行分析，将其中的主要动词翻译成谓语部分，对其他动词需要进行词类转换，处理成名词或介词短语等形式。但在该白皮书中，译文没有进行这种转换处理，导致出现大量带有两个或以上谓语动词、语意重心混乱的汉化句子。

1、国家颁布《关于在全国推进城市社区建设的意见》、《关于加强和改进社区服务工作的意见》等一系列政策文件，采取积极措施，加大投入力度，加强社区建设与服务工作，为包括广大老年人的社区居民提供多种便民利民服务，使老年人居家养老的服务环境不断改善。

The state has promulgated a series of policies and documents, such as Opinions on Promoting Urban Community Construction Nationwide and Opinions on Strengthening and Improving Community Services, and has taken active measures, increased its input, strengthened community construction and service work, so as to provide diversified and more convenient services to community residents, including the aged, and to constantly improve the social service environment for them.

问题：分析原文可以看出，“加大投入力度，加强社区建设与服务工作”应该是“采取积极措施”的具体说明，不是并列关系。因此，在翻译时，不应该都处理成谓语动词。而就译文本身来说，也存在问题。按照英语习惯，在存在并列的情况下，应该在最后一个谓语动词即这里的strengthened之前加and，而不是在第二个动词has taken active measures前加and。另外，“政策文件”应该是一个偏正结构，而不是并列结构，

2、各地把青少年作为宣传教育的重点，将敬老教育内容纳入中小学教学课程，在青少年中开展“敬老爱老助老主题教育活动”，弘扬敬老养老的社会风尚。

Local governments target teenagers for education in respect for senior citizens, include relevant content in primary and middle school courses, and conduct the Educational Activity of Respecting, Loving and Helping Senior Citizens among teenagers, and boost a sound social environment for giving respect to and providing for the aged.

问题：通过分析可以看出，原文中第一句话“各地把青少年作为宣传教育的重点”为语意重心，中间的两句“将敬老教育内容纳入中小学教学课程，在青少年中开展‘敬老爱老助老主题教育活动’”是说明开展宣传教育的方式，最后一句“弘扬敬老养老的社会风尚”说明开展这些活动的目的。译文却

3、国家鼓励有条件的地方建立养老基地，发放养老补贴和高龄津贴，积极改善老年人的生活。

The state encourages areas with adequate capacity to build homes for the aged, grant old-age subsidies and, for those over the age of 80, a special allowance in order to improve the lives of elderly people.

问题：这句话受汉语结构影响明显，存在宾补搭配不当问题。另外，整个句子结构也很别扭。建议改为：The State encourages the establishment of homes for the aged and the provision of old-age subsidies and a special allowance for those over the age of 80 so as to improve their lives.

4、积极发展多种形式的保障制度，把农村特殊老年群体优先纳入社会保障范围。

China actively develops social security systems of various forms, and priority is given to a special group of elderly people to be covered in the social security system in rural areas.

问题：这句译文明显受中式思维的影响。建议改为：China has developed various kinds of social security systems, with the elderly people in rural areas as the priority target.

5、国家尊重和保护老年人合法权益，充分运用法律和道德等手段，加强老年人权益保障工作，促进老年人各项合法权益的实现。

The Chinese government respects and protects the legitimate rights and interests of elderly people, and employs legal and ethical means to strengthen this work so as to promote realization of legitimate rights and interests of the aged.

问题：译文没有按照英语表达习惯对原文进行重新组织，而是按照原委秩序翻译，结果导致语意重心不突出。试比较：The Chinese government respects and protects the legitimate rights and interests of elderly people, and strives for their realization through legal and ethical means.

四、词语搭配问题

1、二十世纪末，中国60岁以上老年人口占总人口的比例超过10%。

At the end of the 20th century, the proportion of people aged 60 and above in China accounted for over ten percent of the entire population.

问题：这句中的proportion多余，因为account for已经包含了此意。

2、开展了创建全国无障碍设施建设示范城（区）活动，北京、上海、天津等12个城市被确定为首批全国无障碍设施建设示范城（区）创建城市。

A campaign to build demonstration cities/districts of barrier-free facilities is being carried out around the country, and 12 cities, including Beijing, Shanghai and Tianjin, have been listed among the first to build such bases.

问题1：这句译文存在介词搭配问题。demonstration cities/districts of barrier-free facilities中的介词of改为with为佳。

3、各级政府采取多种形式，大力弘扬中华民族敬老养老的优良传统，提高社会的敬老意识和水平。

问题：improve people’s awareness存在搭配问题，改为increase people’s awareness为佳。把“中华民族敬老养老的优良传统”译为the tradition of the Chinese nation of respect and support for elderly people也存在语言搭配问题，建议改为the tradition of the Chinese nation of showing respect and support for elderly people。

4、国家积极发展补充性养老保险，引导和扶持有条件的企业为职工建立企业年金，由企业和职工共同缴费，实行基金完全积累，个人账户管理。2005年底，全国已有2.4万家企业建立企业年金，参加职工达924万人。

The state is actively developing supplementary old-age insurance. It guides and helps enterprises with adequate capacity to set up annuities for employees. Both enterprises and employees pay toward the annuity, so that funds are accumulated and managed under individual accounts. By the end of 2005, a total of 24,000 enterprises all over China had set up enterprise annuities, with 9.24 million employees participating.

问题：pay toward the annuity中，pay的用法不正确；在with 9.24 million employees participating中，participate的用法不正确。另外，根据上下文，enterprise annuities中的enterprise显然多余。

5、中国政府重视老龄法律法规政策的宣传普及工作，把《中华人民共和国老年人权益保障法》纳入“三五”（1996—2000年）、“四五”（2001—2005年）和“五五”（2006—2010年）普法计划，开展了形式多样的宣传学习活动，强化全社会维护老年人合法权益的法律意识和老年人的自我保护意识。

问题：on spreading general knowledge of the law中的介词on不准确。

五、表达不准确

这里所说的“表达不准确”指译者理解似乎没有问题，但由于英语水平所限，在翻译时个别地方词不达意或句子结构容易造成误解。

1、开展了创建全国无障碍设施建设示范城（区）活动，北京、上海、天津等12个城市被确定为首批全国无障碍设施建设示范城（区）创建城市。

问题：译文第二句与原文第二句意思上出入很大。原文是说“北京等12个城市已经成为全国无障碍设施建设示范城市”，而译文的大意是说“北京等12个城市已被列入首批将要建造无障碍设施的城市之中，而且这类城市还不止12个。”此外，还存在表达累赘的情况。建议改为：and 12 cities, including Beijing, Shanghai and Tianjin, have been designated as such models.

2、同时，建立老龄事业统计指标体系和老龄统计工作制度，为制定规划和完善督查评估工作提供基础数据。

It has also established a system of statistical indices for undertakings for the aged and a statistical work system which will provide basic data to help the formulation of plans, supervision and evaluation in this field.

问题：虽然本句译文没有像原文那样重复“老龄”，但由于for undertakings for the aged位置不当，容易给人一种误解，以为a statistical work system是另外一种性质的制度，导致译文与原文意思出入，不如将其提到句首。另外，从上下文看，这两个体系应该已经发挥提供数据的功能，所以使用一般将来时态也不准确，不如改为表示目的的动词不定式短语，从而避免歧义。建议全句改为For undertakings for the aged, it has also established statistical indices and a statistical work system aimed at providing basic data for the formulation of plans and the improvement of supervision and evaluation.

3、国家通过政策和舆论引导等多种形式，积极营造发展老龄事业的社会环境，引导全社会关心、支持和参与老龄事业的发展。

Through policies and public opinion guidance, the state is actively engaged in creating a social environment for the development of undertakings for the aged, leading the public at large to be concerned with, support and participate in the development of undertakings for the aged.

问题：把本句中的“关心”翻译成be concerned with，不符合原意。Be concerned with sth意思是“关于某事”，因此应改为care about比较准确。另外，这句也存在表达累赘问题，可以把后一个the development of undertakings for the aged简化为such undertakings。

六、分段不符合英语思维模式

在英文版中经常出现将中文版的一段分隔成两段以上的情况。这种做法原则上是可以的，因为中文里有时一段话涉及到两个以上的主题，而英文中，一个好的段落一般只围绕一个主题展开。该白皮书英文版有的段落在这点上处理得非常好。如：

中国的老龄事业取得的成就有目共睹。但是，作为有着13亿人口的发展中国家，中国的老龄事业还存在着问题和不足。例如，老龄法律法规还不够健全，侵害老年人合法权益的现象时有发生；社会保障制度尚需完善，一些城镇生活困难老年人的保障水平较低，部分农村老年人口的贫困问题还比较突出；全社会尊老敬老的社会氛围有待于进一步形成，等等。在中国，解决好老龄问题，促进老龄事业不断发展，任务十分艰巨。当前，中国老年人口正以年均约3%的速度增长，面对日益严峻的人口老龄化挑战，中国政府将积极采取更加有效的战略措施，努力推动老龄事业与经济社会协调发展，促进老年人共享经济社会发展成果。

China has made obvious achievements in its undertakings for the aged. However, as a developing country with a population of 1.3 billion, China still has problems and shortcomings in the work concerning elderly people. For example, laws and regulations concerning senior citizens need further improvement, and there are still acts infringing on the legitimate rights and interests of elderly people; the social security system is yet to be perfected; elderly people with difficulties in their everyday lives in some urban areas do not have adequate social security; the problem of impoverished elderly people in some rural areas is still conspicuous; and a social atmosphere of respecting elderly people needs to be further developed.

In China, the task of solving problems concerning elderly people and continuously promoting the development of undertakings for the aged remains an arduous one. At present, the population of senior citizens in China is growing by three percent every year. Facing the growing challenge of the ageing population, the Chinese government will adopt more effective strategies to promote the undertakings for the aged in coordination with economic and social development, in order to enable senior citizens to share the fruits of economic and social development.

明显可以看出，上述中文段落涉及两方面主题：“成就”和“问题”。英文版按照英语思维模式，作了分段处理，每一段都以一个主题句开始，这样做避免了段落过长的缺点，使篇章结构更加合理。然而令人遗憾的是，在该白皮书的英文版中，这一原则却没有得到自始至终的贯彻，有的地方随意性太强。

1、中国政府重视老龄法律法规政策的宣传普及工作，把《中华人民共和国老年人权益保障法》纳入“三五”（1996—2000年）、“四五”（2001—2005年）和“五五”（2006—2010年）普法计划，开展了形式多样的宣传学习活动，强化全社会维护老年人合法权益的法律意识和老年人的自我保护意识。各级政府采取多种形式，大力弘扬中华民族敬老养老的优良传统，提高社会的敬老意识和水平。各地普遍设立老人节或敬老日，在每年中国传统节日重阳节和本地敬老节日期间，政府有关部门积极组织大型宣传教育活动和敬老活动。各地把青少年作为宣传教育的重点，将敬老教育内容纳入中小学教学课程，在青少年中开展“敬老爱老助老主题教育活动”，弘扬敬老养老的社会风尚。

The Chinese government attaches importance to publicizing and popularizing laws, regulations and policies concerning senior citizens. It has included the Law of the People's Republic of China on the Protection of the Rights and Interests of Elderly People in the Third Five-Year (1996-2000), Fourth Five-Year (2001-2005) and Fifth Five-Year (2006-2010) plans on spreading general knowledge of the law, and launched educational activities in varied forms, strengthening the people's awareness of the importance of protecting seniors' legitimate rights and interests, as well as seniors' self-protection awareness. Governments at all levels have adopted a variety of methods to invigorate the tradition of the Chinese nation of respect and support for elderly people, and improve people's awareness of the importance of respecting seniors. Senior Citizens' Day is celebrated nationwide.

On the Double Ninth Festival (the ninth day of the ninth lunar month) and local Senior Citizens' Day, government departments concerned actively organize large-scale educational activities and activities for respecting senior citizens. Local governments target teenagers for education in respect for senior citizens, include relevant content in primary and middle school courses, and conduct the Educational Activity of Respecting, Loving and Helping Senior Citizens among teenagers, and boost a sound social environment for giving respect to and providing for the aged.

问题：分析上述中文段落可以看出，这段的中心思想是介绍各级政府在老年工作方面所做的努力：普及老年法规政策，弘扬敬老、养老的优良传统，弘扬敬老、养老的社会风尚。也可以理解为中央政府和地方政府在老年工作方面所采取的措施。应该说层次分明。但英文版没有把这种层次感充分体现出来，尤其是分段的位置完全没有任何根据。第一段最后一句是关于老年节的，而第二段第一句也是关于老年节的，按照英语思维特点，这两句话毫无疑问应放在一起。因此，如果要分成两段的话，那么英文版应该作如下处理：

Governments at all levels have adopted a variety of methods to invigorate the tradition of the Chinese nation of respect and support for elderly people, and improve people's awareness of the importance of respecting seniors. Senior Citizens' Day is celebrated nationwide. On the Double Ninth Festival (the ninth day of the ninth lunar month) and local Senior Citizens' Day, government departments concerned actively organize large-scale educational activities and activities for respecting senior citizens. Local governments target teenagers for education in respect for senior citizens, include relevant content in primary and middle school courses, and conduct the Educational Activity of Respecting, Loving and Helping Senior Citizens among teenagers, and boost a sound social environment for giving respect to and providing for the aged.

2、积极发展多种形式的保障制度，把农村特殊老年群体优先纳入社会保障范围。对无劳动能力、无生活来源、无法定赡养人、扶养人，或者其法定赡养人、扶养人确无赡养、扶养能力的农村老年人，由国家实施在吃、穿、住、医、葬方面给予生活照顾和物质帮助的“五保”供养制度。目前，全国享受“五保”供养的老年人达460多万人。对执行计划生育政策的农村独生子女或两女户夫妇，在年满60周岁以后，由中央或地方财政安排专项资金，实施计划生育家庭奖励扶助制度。2005年底，享受该奖励扶助的人群达到135万人。中国政府重视城镇化过程中被征地农民的养老问题，确保被征地农民基本生活和长远生计，逐步将被征地农民纳入社会保障体系。目前已有15个省（自治区、直辖市）出台了被征地农民社会保障办法，约600万人被纳入社会保障范围，筹集资金约500亿元人民币。

At present, more than 4.6 million elderly people across the country are benefiting from this government policy. For rural couples who have followed the state family planning policy and given birth to only one child (or two daughters), when they turn 60 they receive a bonus from a special fund made available by the central and local governments. By the end of 2005, some 1.35 million people had received such a bonus.

The Chinese government pays attention to taking care of elderly farmers whose land has been requisitioned in the process of urbanization. By gradually including those farmers in the social security system, the government makes sure that their basic livelihood is permanently guaranteed. So far, 15 provinces, autonomous regions, and municipalities directly under the central government have drawn up social security policies regarding farmers whose land has been requisitioned. About six million farmers are now covered by social security schemes, and some 50 billion yuan has been raised for this purpose.

问题：原文段落中涉及三个方面，即“五保”老人的养老问题、独生子女夫妇的养老问题和被征地农民的养老问题。因此，按照英语行文习惯，可以分成三个段落。但译文第二段的第一句话应该放在第一段，这样才符合英语思维模式。

3、在政府的引导和扶持下，中国老教授协会、老科技工作者协会、老年法律工作者协会等全国性老年社会团体已发展到13家，分会遍及全国各地。中国老教授协会和老科技工作者协会的个体会员数量超过65万人。各地成立了退休工程师协会、老教育工作者协会、离退休医务工作者协会等一批以老年知识分子为主体的社会团体，组织老年知识分子继续为社会经济发展作贡献。各地重视城乡基层老年群众组织建设，2005年底，城市社区和农村老年人协会发展到31.7万个，在组织广大老年人参与基层社区建设、社会公益活动和维护老年人自身权益等方面发挥了积极作用。

Under the guidance and with the support of the government, 13 national associations for senior citizens have sprung up, including the China Senior Professors Association, Association of Senior Scientists and Technicians and Association of Senior Lawyers, branches of which have appeared all over China. The membership of China Senior Professors Association and Association of Senior Scientists and Technicians together exceed 650,000.

In local areas, societies with senior intellectuals as the mainstay have been founded, such as the Association of Retired Engineers, Association of Senior Teaching Staff and Association of Retired Medical Workers, which help their members to continue to make contributions to the social and economic development of China. Local governments attach importance to the building of grassroots senior organizations in urban and rural areas.

问题：原文讨论了老年协会的发展情况，大致可以分为两部分，即老年知识分子协会和老年群众组织。第一部分还可以细分为全国性协会和地方协会。因此，译文分为三段，从理论上来说是可以的。但不管怎样分段，显然“各地重视城乡基层老年群众组织建设”作为一个主题句都应该与其后面的展开内容放在一起。然而，译文却把该句相应的英文Local governments attach importance to the building of grassroots senior organizations in urban and rural areas放在第二段末尾，完全不符合英语思维模式。

通过以上分析，可以看出，目前外宣英译工作还需要极大改进。从事外宣翻译工作者在提高翻译技巧的同时，还要不断提高自己的中英文水平，了解中英文差异，力求译文在表达方式、格式措辞、逻辑思维等方面符合译入语的习惯，确保信息得到准确、通畅的传达。

对于中央政府文件的翻译，由于还涉及国家形象，因此应慎重从事。为了确保翻译质量，建议政府部门应设立有中外专家参加的政府文件翻译顾问组。另外，由于政府文件内容往往涉及许多专业领域，需要翻译者与各专业人士通力合作，才能使专业术语的翻译准确、规范。

参考文献

爱泼斯坦、林戊荪、沈苏儒. 呼吁重视对外宣传中的外语工作[J]. 中国翻译，2000年（6）：2—4.

蔡基刚. 英汉写作修辞对比[M]. 上海：复旦大学出版社，2003.

黄友义. 坚持“外宣三贴近”原则，处理好外宣翻译中的难点问题[J]. 中国翻译，2004年（6）：27-28.

黄友义. 从翻译工作者的权利到外宣翻译——在首届全国公示语翻译研讨会上的讲话[J]. 中国翻译，2005年（6）：31-33.

袁晓宁. 外宣英译的策略及其理据[J]. 中国翻译，2005年（1）：75-78.

[作者简介] 黄卫峰，教授、博士，现为温州大学外国语学院教师，北京外国语大学外国语言文学博士后流动站研究人员，硕士生导师。研究方向：翻译实践及美国文化。